The Arrival Fallacy: Why “Making It” Doesn't Guarantee Happiness
For years, athletes and coaches live by one clear equation: work + sacrifice = victory.
Win the championship.
Commit to the dream school.Earn the scholarship.
Land the next coaching role.
We believe that when we arrive at that destination, life will finally feel complete.
That the finish line will give us lasting peace.
But then we get there and the feeling fades.
That’s the arrival fallacy: the illusion that happiness will come when you achieve the next goal, only to discover it slips away once you get there.
Why Athletes and Coaches Can Be Especially Vulnerable
Sports is goal-driven by design. Seasons end. Titles are awarded. Trophies are handed out.
The structure conditions us to always be chasing the next big thing. And while this pursuit can bring excellence, it also wires us to believe happiness is always “out there.”
When the game ends, many athletes and coaches experience a double crash:
The external goals disappear.
The internal satisfaction feels out of reach.
It’s not because we’re broken. It’s because we’ve been trained to find meaning in arriving instead of becoming.
Arthur Brooks on the “Hedonic Treadmill”
Harvard professor, social scientist, and bestselling author Arthur Brooks has spent decades studying happiness, purpose, and human flourishing. He writes a popular column in The Atlantic and teaches at Harvard Business School, where he helps leaders rethink what it means to build meaningful lives.
In his book From Strength to Strength, Brooks describes the cycle athletes and coaches know all too well:
“Each time we achieve a goal, we experience a burst of satisfaction. But before long, the thrill fades, and we set our sights on the next prize. This is the hedonic treadmill—running faster and faster but going nowhere.”
For athletes and coaches, this treadmill feels familiar. The win on Saturday fades by Monday. The promotion to head coach can bring pressure, not peace.
The arrival fallacy doesn’t mean goals are bad. It means goals without deeper purpose are empty.
The Science Behind the Illusion
Dopamine fades fast.
Neuroscience shows that dopamine spikes when we pursue a goal, not when we achieve it.¹ That’s why the high of winning or “arriving” quickly wears off.
Think about finally winning a championship. The celebration feels euphoric until the confetti is swept away and the question shifts to: “What’s next season going to look like?” Or a coach lands a new head coaching job they’ve been chasing, but the joy quickly shifts to the stress of higher expectations and figuring out everything all at once.
Happiness is in the process.
Research from Yale found that people who focus on daily practices rather than outcomes report higher long-term well-being.²
Athletes know this well: crossing the finish line or capturing a championship feels amazing in the moment, but it’s the practices: the training sessions, the teammates, the discipline, the road trips that built the real sense of identity and pride. After retirement, if you only chase the “next big job” or external recognition, the satisfaction fades fast.
Purpose sustains joy.
Studies in The Journal of Positive Psychology reveal that meaning-driven pursuits create more lasting satisfaction than achievement-driven ones.³
For example, a retired athlete who volunteers to mentor younger players may feel more lasting fulfillment than chasing another trophy in adult league play. Or a coach who shifts from “winning at all costs” to “developing people” finds joy that isn’t tied to titles.
Turning the Arrival Fallacy Into a Strength
The arrival fallacy isn’t just a trap. It’s also a teacher. It shows us that joy isn’t in the destination it’s in how we live and experience along the way.
Here’s how athletes and coaches can use it as a strength:
1. Redefine Winning
Instead of only asking, “What’s the next big goal?” also ask:
What kind of person am I becoming while I pursue it?
What areas of my life need my time and attention? (Health, relationships, finances, etc)
- Am I living in alignment with my values today?
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”
— Simon Sinek
2. Shift From Outcomes to Rituals
Trade the uncontrollable outcomes for sustainable practices: Meditation, exercise, journaling, or time in nature.
These create stability when outcomes fluctuate and cost zero dollars.
3. Enjoy the Process
Pause to notice small wins. A good conversation. A skill learned. A meaningful connection. Gratitude interrupts the hedonic treadmill.
4. Anchor in Service
Arthur Brooks suggests shifting focus from personal achievement to contribution. Who can you help? What impact can you leave? That’s where fulfillment lives.
5. Experiment With Curiosity
Instead of chasing “the one thing” that will make you happy, treat life after sports as a lab. Try new interests. Build skills. Follow what energizes you even if it’s not the final answer.
Why This Matters for Life After Sports
When the final game ends, that doesn’t mean that achieving ends too.
You’re granted the chance to redefine achievement.
The arrival fallacy reveals that fulfillment doesn’t come from the trophy, the title, or the reaching the next rung on the ladder of career.
It comes from daily practices, joy, aligned purpose, and enjoying the messy process.
And when you embrace that?
You stop running the treadmill and start living the life you were meant to build.
Final Thought
The question is not, “What’s next?”
The question is, “How will I live along the way?”
Because if arrival doesn’t bring fulfillment, maybe it was never about the destination at all.
Sources
Schultz, W. (2015). Neuron.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). The How of Happiness. Yale research.
Steger, M. F. (2009). The Journal of Positive Psychology.
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